Nairobians love to use this phrase,
“The Struggle Is Real.”
It’s a blanket answer to everything.
“How are you?”
“How is business?”
“Did you watch the news?”
The struggle is real.
But that’s not the struggle I want to write about.
The struggle I want to write about is more universal. It revolves around something everyone experiences; the longing for more.
The more people I talk to, the more I discover that being stuck in a rut is a normal thing. Some people are stuck in dead-end jobs where if they stay quiet enough, they could actually hear the last screams of their dying neurons. Others are stuck in stale relationships that bring them more stress and misery than joy. Others are “just fine”; life is monotonous and boring but they’re just fine.
Maybe you recognize it within yourself, how at the very core of your being there’s a part of you that knows, “There’s more to life than this.”
Whatever this is.
And maybe that part knows exactly what it is you want to venture into, but your brain does this amazing thing every time the impulse to do more hits you; it sharply pulls the handbrake up.
The thing is, your brain’s reaction is very natural. It’s actually its job…to protect you from getting into situations that involve too many risks, to keep things the same, to not rattle the cage.
The struggle doesn’t just appear in life.
It also appears in chemistry.
Unless you were asleep during chemistry classes, you probably remember this graph that shows how reacting molecules need to overcome an activation energy before they transform to the products.
When you read more on procrastination you realize it’s just a delaying technique. You don’t feel like doing something that’s difficult or challenging or unpleasant so you just burn your energy arranging the pile of papers on your desk, making a necklace out of paper clips, and imagining that the staplers are alligators battling each other.
But here’s the truth about life; the mindset that got you here won’t get you there.
Wherever there is.
At some point you need to train yourself to go against your handbrake-pulling instincts, which naturally translates to you doing all the hard scary things that you never feel like doing.
So how do you do that?
Step 1) Now, consider each of the following 7 areas of your life, and write down if your actions move you forwards towards growth or inaction keeps you stuck in the same place:
* Family
* Love
* Spirituality
* Career
* Friends/Community
* Body/Health
* Money
Think in terms of persistent behavioral patterns. The most normal one is as follows (for the 68 % statistically disengaged at work):
– Monday: You wake up, you go to work, you check your brain at the door, you work for eight hours, you clock out, you take your brain with you, you go home, you put your brain in your TV, you go to sleep
– Tuesday: You wake up, you take your brain out of your TV, you go to work, you check your brain at the door, you work for eight hours, you clock out, you take your brain with you, you go home, you put your brain in your TV, you go to sleep
– Wednesday: You wake up, you go to work, you realize you’ve forgotten your brain in the TV but since you weren’t using it anyway…
You get the point.
Step 2) Identify where you’ll need to break these behavioral patterns, and what are the actions associated with moving forward. Rename your “To-Do” list as “Don’t-Feel-Like-Doing” list.
Step 3) Apply Mel Robbin’s 5-second rule to get things done: If you have an instinct to act on a goal, you must physically move within 5 seconds or your brain will kill it.
Easy enough…isn’t it?
One of the beautiful things about living in a developing country is that you get to see the stars shimmering against the night sky. They sparkle so brightly and look so close it feels like you can just pluck them.
One by one.
But you might not enjoy the scene very long because soon enough mosquitoes start buzzing around you the longer you linger at the balcony.
What I’m trying to say is, there’s a huge difference between the theory and the practicality of something.
The theory of the 5 second rule is easy to understand, but the moment you start implementing it, it doesn’t feel good at all.
But that’s the point; it’s not supposed to. You’re stepping out of your comfort zone. You’re putting yourself in risky situations. You will get anxious.
A lot.
So you’ve got to accept that from now on, as you drive through life, you have new passengers in your car- fear, anxiety and discomfort. Acknowledge their presence and keep on driving.
Now tell me, how real is your struggle?
Header Image taken somewhere in Kenya