In the last post, I wrote about managing anxiety during the coronavirus pandemic, and I ended it by saying that you can know everything on an intellectual level and still have problems emotionally. Case in point, I experienced one of the roughest days some time last week, and in the middle of this maelstrom of overwhelm, I found myself asking, “Why does this keep happening to me?”
And the answer was as clear as day, “So you can write about it.”
So here I am, writing the sequel to the previous post.
It’s easy for someone to tell you, “Don’t worry until you really have something to worry about,” but research has shown that we’re not wired for uncertainty. Quoting from this Medium article that collates all the research on how our brains don’t like uncertainty, “A 2011 study in the journal Behavior Therapy found that anxious people tended to opt for worse odds and lower money payouts in a gambling experiment — as opposed to improved odds and more money — if this choice cut down the amount of time they had to wait to find out their bet’s outcome. Basically, anxious people were willing to pay to avoid uncertainty.”
So it is only natural that at a time with so much uncertainty looming around like a dark storm cloud for you not to be feeling too great. If COVID had a super villain name, it would probably be The Amplifier, because it’s amplifying everything.
Redefine your new normal
It is particularly important for type-A personalities to understand this, “You’re operating at a diminished capacity,” so don’t wake up in the morning and put together a 100-item to-do list unless you want to get disappointed and overwhelmed. Between having to deal with your family being home all the time (if that’s your situation) and the cognitive and emotional toll of this pandemic, be realistic about how much you can do every day.
Sometimes, even this to-do list is okay:
Set a structure
To help you tackle your particularly complex to-do list (not the one shown above), set a structure for your day and stick to it. When you’re working from home, boundaries between life and work turn blurry. Actually, you’re more likely to be homing from work. Often, you find yourself wondering if you should get some work done or do some house chores. However, every crossroad is a micro-decision that draws from your already truncated capacity and may lead to decision fatigue. Putting a structure in place avoids that. It also helps to put every item of your “New Normal” structure on your calendar (including breaks, chores, and workouts), until you become accustomed to it.
Grieve your future memories
The world might not look the same post-covid.
Actually, let me correct that….
The world will not look the same post-covid.
So grieve…
But also…
Say hello to the future you
Nobody is going to exit this thing the same person that got in. Whether people change to the better or worse is yet to be seen, but embrace the new you. John Sanei writes in his book FutureNow, “The final stage comes with understanding that our unique identity and interests will help us find opportunities to uplift communities in this changing world. It’s the point where we swap self-interest for a desire to help get everyone through this together.”
The thing is, everyday you get to shape the future you.
This is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Tie your shoelaces, run a lap around your living room, and most importantly, don’t hold your breath, because this is a marathon.
I recently came across this idea of starting a 100 Day Project with the aim of exploring your creativity for a 100 days. The idea is simple, choose a project, do it for a 100 days, and document the process.
To help you define your project, Rich Armstrong provides a framework for thinking through it. Take a huge sheet of paper and define it into 8 categories, and list items under each category:
Then mix and match items until you get to your own project. If I were to cheat on this project, I would have put “writing” for my 100 Day Project, but I have already been stringing words together everyday for the past 2 decades, so there wouldn’t be anything new there. So I defined my project as engaging with imagery. I generalized it because it could mean reading/writing poetry, or putting together a collage, or this….
The interesting thing about the Amplifier is that it doesn’t just amplify the bad, but also the good. I would end this with a quote from Brene Brown’s podcast Unlocking Us, where she says, “This pandemic experience is a massive experiment in collective vulnerability. We can be our worst selves when we’re afraid, or our very best, bravest selves. In the context of fear and vulnerability, there is often very little in between because when we are uncertain and afraid our default is self-protection. We don’t have to be scary when we’re scared. Let’s choose awkward, brave, and kind. And let’s choose each other.”
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