How to Stay Positive in a Negative World

I started the previous post with a comment on how it is imperative that we protect ourselves from the waves of negativity that threaten to drown us.

The most common response I got was, “It’s easier said than done.”

Which is true.

I myself have been going through something recently that no matter how hard I try to stay positive, something happens to trigger this need to crawl under a blanket and just ignore the world for a few days.

But then I realize the answer to why that is lies in how our brains are hardwired. Our brains tend to default to the negative thanks to the negativity bias; a cognitive bias in which unpleasant things have a deeper impact than pleasant ones. In fact, research has shown that it takes five good things to overcome the impact of one[1].

So trying to be positive in a world that’s filled with negativity with a brain that’s amazingly tuned to filter for negativity is a double-challenge.

But just like everything in life, to get a positive attitude, it turns out you actually need to work for it…which might inspire a collective groan, “Must I?”

Unfortunately, yes.

One book that reinforced the idea was Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project where she chose a resolution and focused on getting herself happier. Other things you can actually do to flip from the negative to the positive:

1) Use natural opioids

No.

I do not endorse the use of drugs.

There is one particular chemical that I endorse, however, and it’s the one the body releases during exercise known as endorphin (contracted from the term ‘endogenous morphine’).

2) Keep 2 lists handy

Name one the “To-do when I’m in a bad mood…” list, where you enumerate all the activities you engage in that can improve your mood instantly or put you in a state of flow.

Building this list would require doing a variety of things and gauging how you feel during and after each activity.

Things on my list can easily be deduced from this blog; reading, writing, watching stand-up comedy on Youtube, changing environments, calling this one specific friend who has never failed to make me laugh because of how ridiculous their comments can be.

I used to enjoy driving in Abu Dhabi but thanks to the potholes in Kenya driving had to be removed from the list because it’s just too stressful.

The name of the second list is, “To-not-do/meet when I’m in any mood because it’ll just ruin it…”

These are activities that have a higher probability of ruining your mood than usual.

And strangely enough, half – if not all – will be certain people you want to avoid seeing because everytime you do, you just end up feeling bad about yourself.

3) Plan ahead for stressful situations

Traffic is something everybody suffers from in Nairobi. A trip that would usually take 20 min can end up with you stuck for two hours just because of traffic, and if there were a formula it would be a function of (peak time, rain, Friday…), with each variable easily adding half an hour to your commute.

Personally, I’ve decided that if I’m going to get stuck in traffic, might as well just enjoy the ride, so I make sure my phone is pre-loaded with Stitcher podcasts from my favorite shows; Startalk by Neil Degrasse Tyson, NPR TED Radio Hour, NPR’s Talk To Self…etc.

The sad thing is, you can’t plan ahead for everything.

There will be days when nothing works.

When the only thing that could work is crawling under the blanket and ignoring the world.

And it is what it is.

[1] https://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/24/your-money/why-people-remember-negative-events-more-than-positive-ones.html
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