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While In Rome, Forget Paris

I’m still on the topic of Life’s Transition*. Sometimes your life’s transition would take you to a country different from the one you grew up in. Moving from Country A to Country B is never a problem when you’re taking a step up. It’s the step down that’s the problem.

Most of the people who suffer are those who try to sustain their old life in a new location that’s a bit incompatible to what they’re used to. They’ll keep on talking about how, “Back in Country A…” Basically, they remain prisoners of the past.

The ones who have been able to survive this phase with no problems were those who accepted, “I am in Country B now, so what am I going to do here? What’s the best way to make use of this new location.”

Because you’re still you. Since you’re the triple integral of your values, experiences and environment, in this specific case, it’s only the environment that changed, but you’re still you — with your values and experiences. So never forget that the location doesn’t define you…it’s what you do, how you treat others that matters the most.

If they still have their sights set on returning to Country A, it’s okay to set it as a goal and collect experiences, money, etc…that might facilitate the move. But it doesn’t mean to pause your life completely and keep on living in your past without taking action in this new location.

They talk to people, find out how things are, and adapt. Some have even gone to the extreme of not talking to their friends in Country A because they’re a constant reminder of the past, which I personally don’t recommend. But it was how they were able to “Forget Paris” so if that’s what it takes, you might consider doing this. And if you are the friends in Country A, be a little bit sensitive and don’t start all conversations by saying things like, “Country A misses you and talk about all the benefits of Country A…”

Last but not least, I know I say this a lot, but the grass is not greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it.

If you know someone going through a transition phase, please share this with them. If you’re going through this yourself, I hope you find it valuable. Leave your comments below or tweet me @ahechoes

* This is part of a series; How to survive a transition phase

Transition phase survival kit

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Published inLife LessonsQuarter-life crisis